It’s been two years since this incredible show graced us with its Netflix presence, and I’m still a little bit obsessed. If you haven’t watched the first season yet, what are you waiting for? I know it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but in the world of reality matchmaking shows, this is the cream of the entertainment crop.
Here’s a look back on the couples who found love—or attempted to find love—on this show and the types of relationships they so wonderfully exemplified.
What is a Twin Flame relationship?
First of all, this term has been chewed up and spit out so many times on the internet that it’s gotten a bit muddled in the process. I for a long time felt connected to the twin flame path before abandoning it almost entirely in search of my own inner truth and independence. (Which, ironically, can be a huge part of the Twin Flame journey.) However, I believe the pure concept underneath this term still exists with souls here, and so I’ll explain the basics of that.
Twin Flames or Twin Souls are two halves of one soul (for the sake of a short, visual explanation) that chose to separate to experience life (or many lives) unbalanced in order for the yearning they have for each other to create a path back to union. This is essentially what is happening to all soul energy on this planet right now. We are finding our way back to union, to being one, after thousands of lifetimes in separation—be it of love vs fear, peace vs war, light vs dark, masculine vs feminine, whatever duality you want to point to on this planet.
Twin flames reunite in divine timing—that is, when they are in alignment with union—in order to energetically incite further union on earth. Their coming together literally shifts the energy of the planet, but also tells a story that brings humans together on a 3D level, often exposing bias and separation in the process. That’s why, often times with true Twin Flames, you will see biracial couples, forbidden love scenarios, and general yin-yang partnerships, be it physically or otherwise manifested. However, this does not have to be the case, nor is it always so obvious.
Twin Flames are not always romantic connections. For example, Don Shirley and Tony Lip, the two friends Green Book was based on, are Twin Flames. That’s why the film about them brought up so much controversy. Twin Flame relationships garner attention in order to impact change. Theirs is a story about Twin Flame friendship, but the film sparked a different discussion on race when it won Best Picture over other racially charged films that year. To me, that movie was more of a discussion on friendship than it was race, but therein lies much of the issue many pointed to with frustration. In portraying the unconditional love of two souls on screen, it also stirred up a lot of emotions and issues in the process.
Twin Flame couples do not always stir up controversy, however. Sometimes they garner attention simply because of the beauty and purity we witness in their love connection. This is best portrayed in the one divine partnership that came together on this humble experiment of a reality show.
LAUREN & CAMERON
Lauren and Cameron are 100% bona-fide Twin Flames. I don’t care what anybody says. Their love is undeniably real. Yes, it’s true that only the twins know when they’re twins, so I can’t say anything being my own opinionated authority, but these two, are twins, okay? You cannot make up or fake the amount of energy channeling between those two.
The best thing about seeing this couple fall in love on the show is they perfectly managed the dance of Twin Flames without ever having to truly run, chase, or separate. Many people out there will tell you that Twin Flames have to run, or chase, or separate, and that is just not the case. Often times, that’s actually an indication that you’re dealing with a karmic situation.
The show provided an accelerated journey for everyone, given its timetable, but Lauren and Cameron perfectly exemplify that when’s it’s real, it happens fast. Twin Flames don’t waste time, though their minds may have trouble catching up with their hearts and souls at times. We can see this dance as Lauren and Cameron battle, in their minds, with thinking how can this be real? Shouldn’t I take more time with this?
“I’ve had meals in my refrigerator for longer than that. Like, that’s crazy.”Lauren Speed
Twin Flames can look at their own relationship in disbelief, but they know. They are so certain in their hearts, and must learn to trust that over everything else. They have a magnetic attraction. Cameron was certain first, and then Lauren said I love you first. They were always on the same page energetically, taking leaps of faith with their words, and then actions. We can see them coming to the edge of a cliff, if you’ll embrace the metaphor, and choosing to jump together, knowing they will soar.
Being a biracial couple, Lauren and Cameron knew the challenges they would face in this world, and discussed them openly and honestly. It wasn’t an I love you, but— situation, it was an I love you and we are going to get through this together situation. This is classic Twin Flame. Lauren even knew how challenging it would be to introduce Cameron to her father, but in facing that challenge, everyone involved grew in love and understanding, and expanded their perspectives on life and love.
Beyond this, Lauren even says she feels like Cameron was made in a factory and put together for her. Twin Flames may not obviously look like the perfect partner you’ve always envisioned for yourself, but nonetheless will surprise you that they in fact are the love of your life.
To understand the energy between Twin Flames, we need only see it in action. When Lauren and Cameron finally meet in person after getting engaged in the pods, they don’t look away. They face each other and smile. Hugely. They then walk equally towards each other. It’s mutual, reciprocal, and they both feel beyond lucky. Even coming together physically, ahem, where Lauren may have had some hesitations or fears, they soon find they are a perfect match.
Their union is about unity. Lauren realizes she can continue uplifting the Black community with a loving white man by her side, showing both sides of the separation of race in this country and world how to come together through ultimate love.
“Us against the world.”Lauren Speed
She literally says a Twin Flame motto. Come on, somebody.
A soulmate is a like soul here to help you in one way or another, be it pleasantly or uncomfortably, for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Soulmates may be what some think of as the ultimate love relationship, and often times they are right. However, soulmates can really be any true pairing. They could be life partners, divine counterparts who resemble Twin Flames but don’t have the same soul makeup, kindred spirits, best friends, karmic partners (a type of soulmate I’ll get to later), and pretty much anything you can think of. Indeed, all souls on this planet are actually some level of soulmates, but let’s discuss in terms of romantic soulmate partnerships.
AMBER & BARNETT
I honestly think Amber and Barnett are Divine Counterparts. That is to say, they are soulmates who take on the divine partnership blueprint of a Twin Flame couple, without actually being Twin Flames. In this situation, there’s usually a bit of a bumpier road and more lessons to be learned and overcome over the course of their relationship journey, and they may or may not remain lifelong partners. Also, outside forces attempt to interfere, but ultimately fail in the face of their love.
When Amber meets Barnett in the pods, she knows. She’s certain. There are other girls who think they can have him, but Amber knows deep down that she is the one for him, and vice versa. While Jessica and LC think they have a connection with Barnett, neither of them have the true inner knowing the way Amber does.
It is actually quite possible that Amber and Barnett could be Twin Flames (only they know) because of the obstacles they must face. Amber must learn to trust her heart, just as Barnett must learn to trust his when he struggles with his decision to “pick” her (as if he truly had a choice, *wink*).
It’s not easy to believe in an unseen relationship when other women are claiming to have just as strong a connection with your man, but Amber never falters in her belief. Later, she has to face the brunt of Barnett’s family, specifically brother, not approving of the relationship. This only further fuels the inner knowing they must come to terms with accepting. Barnett struggled with his head versus his heart right up until the wedding day, but at the altar ultimately knew she was the one for him.
If you watch when Amber and Barnett come together and meet each other physically for the first time, they are the only other couple beside Lauren and Cameron who come together with reciprocal energy. I will say, however, that with the intense merging (i.e. highly sexual relationship) they have, and the intense repelling they experience in their marriage after the show, they could be very connected karmic partners. However, looking at the energy of the love they have for each other, I don’t think that is the case. I think both Amber and Barnett have lessons to learn individually and through each other and their connection bonds them as they navigate these challenges.
KELLY & KENNY
Their relationship is based on liking the same book and a past-life friendship. They bonded over a mutual yearning to be seen and find a truly supportive partner in life, but they were never anything more than good friends. One could argue that they had a karmic relationship, but where it never became a passion-filled conflict, I see these two as true Soulmates who had to work through a lesson together with love and compassion.
These two needed to get together on the show because Kenny needed to be on the show to then find the one for him off of the show, and Kelly needed to realize she was not ready for love. These two were great on paper, their families meshed incredibly well, but at the end of the day there was just no passion. I look at these two almost like brother and sister, which could very well have been their relationship in a past life.
While Kenny may have been hurt that Kelly decided not to marry him at the altar, he went on to find his future wife and can ultimately thank Kelly for that rejection. Kelly struggled with her decision, as marrying Kenny would have certainly pleased those around her more than it would have fulfilled her heart’s yearning. Seeing her at the reunion, it’s clear the pain she’s gone through since making that decision because Kenny is a great guy and a great catch. However, they were not meant to be in the long term. My guess is that Kelly has a lot more to learn on her own in this life and will settle down with a partner if and when she has done so.
Karmic relationships come into our lives to change a course of direction and/or learn difficult lessons. They are typically swollen with passion, starting strong before a flash in the pan and then ending ugly. Most abusive relationships would be deemed karmic relationships. A karmic relationship is typically a toxic relationship, even if, or especially if, it doesn’t start out that way.
Most karmic relationships begin well because two souls need to come together in order to learn something or incite a shift, or to open and heal a wound. If these relationships started out bad, we probably wouldn’t stay to go through the karmic lesson. But eventually, the time comes and the karma does play out between the two people. Often times it’s just a breakup, but you will find that with most of your karmic partners you either cut ties completely or keep going back to each other only to repeat the same lessons until you finally “get it.”
Karmic partners are often mistaken for Twin Flames because somewhere along the lines we have gotten it in our heads that abuse between two people is the same thing as a challenge a couple faces as a unit. It’s not. Karmic partners can very often feel like the one in the beginning because the attraction has to feel so strong. It can seem like the magnetic attraction of Twin Flames, but it is temporary and volatile and comes with an edge of doubt, denial, or jealousy.
Karmic partnerships walk that fine edge between love and hate and make you feel special, then attached and desperate, and eventually miserable. Twin Flames, even if they think or say it, can never hate each other. They may make you feel fear or doubt, but one will always know the truth in their core. Twin Flame relationships may make you feel crazy in a good way, as it’s hard to believe in such a beautiful bond existing for ourselves sometimes. However, Karmic relationships will just have us feeling crazy in the worst ways, and we won’t find peace until the relationship is dissolved and the issues that arose from it resolved.
GIANNINA & DAMIAN
Here’s a good example of a trauma bond in karmic partners. (Insert giant eye roll here.) Gigi’s pain met Damian’s pain and together they formed an attachment of expectation. They had an emotional proposal, but it was all stemming from ego lack and not true, genuine connection.
They have passion, but it’s never quite matched, and they go on to pick each other’s wounds until they blow up at each other. Then it’s rinse and repeat as the cycle never ends. They fight, they make up, they fight, they make up, all the way to the wedding day when Damien shockingly, but unsurprisingly (we saw the red flags the whole time) humiliates Gigi. (The drama she is energetically conditioned to attract.)
Damian gives me the creeps, so I may be a little biased, but I think in all the Gigi drama we lost sight of the fact that Damian doesn’t seem so innocent in all of this. I would go so far as to say Damian intentionally does things to manipulate and hurt Gigi, whereas she is just functioning in the dysfunctional way she knows how.
They may have gotten back together since the show ended, and they may claim to have a great relationship (excuse me while I gag a little bit), but in my opinion, it’s only for the publicity and these two are not in it for the long haul. In fact, it would be in both their best interests to cut ties and find partners they can actually flourish with.
He’s only holding her back, as I feel she can do way better (and that’s not just in superficial but also core value terms). But, they may have more to learn from each other so I wish them the best as they navigate those minefields together.
JESSICA & MARK
Hahaha—have you ever seen a more awkward Karmic relationship? Talk about trying to force it.
These two had no business being in a relationship, an opinion made even more true now that I’ve learned Mark potentially cheated on her during the show. (Wow.) Jessica and Mark had a lot in common, or at least it seemed, despite the ten-year age gap that Jessica just could not let go. Some would look at a ten-year age gap and think Twin Flame, because there can be very large differences in age for Twin Flames. However, in that case this would be something bringing them together as they overcame it, not a constant excuse to argue and find potential problems.
Similar interests and likes can only bond a pair for so long. What really bonds two people longterm are similar core values and personal truths. If you’re someone who values honesty, I don’t care how many things you have in common with someone, you’ll still start to feel uncomfortable when they continue to act with dishonesty. That’s where resentment begins. You can sit in an entire room full of people who like the same movies as you and call them your soulmates, but there are far fewer people who match with you at a soul level.
Mark and Jessica fell for an idea of each other. Mark wanted that carefree woman to make Italian Beef and somewhat take the place of his mother but in a better, I get to f*ck you, way. Jessica liked Mark but ultimately fell for a fantasy she built in her mind with Barnett. It wasn’t until Barnett cooled on Jessica that she decided to settle for Mark. Then, we saw her constant inner struggle with that decision as she was never fully able to commit to Mark. She spent the entire experience pushing him away, and they just never stood a chance.
Think about it this way. When Jessica and Mark got engaged, did you feel it or did you just watch it? I didn’t feel their emotion the way I did with Lauren and Cameron, and even Amber and Barnett. I watched them react from their own inner worlds, but have a separate, forced interaction.
In my opinion, this whole thing was about Jessica and Mark learning to love themselves and see themselves honestly. I’m sure it was incredibly painful for them both to go through and then watch this experience, but they inevitably learned a lot about themselves and what they want in a relationship.
Jessica is now with someone else, seemingly happy, and Mark is having a baby with someone else. I wish them all the best.
JESSICA & BARNETT
Not technically a couple, but a relationship worth mentioning nonetheless, these two prodded each other. They definitely learned from the mirrors of each other and mostly through pain. It’s easy to mistake this sort of interaction as a Twin Flame connection, and I think there are a lot of people out there who attach to connections such as this thinking that’s what it is, but they were never meant for each other.
This was a classic Karmic situation when one person tells the other they’re forever but they don’t mean it. Especially when the other person is leaving the decision all up to them. Jessica didn’t want Barnett, she wanted Barnett to want her. Jessica didn’t want Mark, but Mark wanted her, so Jessica tried with Mark, but couldn’t face him because she just wasn’t attracted to him. Then, she focused all her energy on Barnett and the what-if’s, despite having no true evidence of her feelings being truly reciprocated.
I feel for Jessica, even if she drove me absolutely nuts on this show, especially with that voice she puts on to talk to men. She arguably went through the hardest experience on the show and learned the most karmic lessons. We see her drinking too much red wine (we smell our own, dear) in an effort to numb what she is going through. She tries desperately to fool herself, but it’s written in red paint across the screen for all of us to see. I’m sure her watching the show back was an incredibly humbling, if not humiliating, experience, and so I hope that she grew in self-love and is able to now feel good about herself and her current relationship.
CARLTON & DIAMOND
These two are a perfect example of a Karmic relationship. They came together with strong energy, for a quick, flash-in-the-pan, painful lesson. Hence the rings and hats thrown across pools, drinks in faces, and a complete 180-degree change in a man’s demeanor towards a woman he claims to love.
Carlton rejected himself, and hurt Diamond in the process. Diamond faced a situation she wasn’t prepared to handle. To hide something from someone under the pretense of not hiding anything, and then reveal that something later only to get mad at the other person for feeling blindsided? That’s a form of abuse, especially if you use intimidation tactics with it.
Carlton and Diamond are another great example of how Karmics can be confused for Twins in the beginning. Diamond even saw a sign from her late father that it was “meant to be.” They’d never connected with someone on that level. So when they get engaged, we see their emotion, but we don’t feel it the way we felt it watching Lauren and Cameron. It’s all show. During the proposal, Carlton’s up circling the room. Diamond’s folded over sobbing. They aren’t energetically together, they are catalysts for each other’s individual reactions.
Going forward in the relationship after the proposal, it’s all about him. Carlton talks about himself. Diamond talks about him, too. It’s superficial. He clearly is keeping secrets (as he admits in the confessional footage) because he is afraid of rejection. At first he puts on a tough exterior which only pushes Diamond away because he’s not behaving like the person she met in the pods. Then, when he does try to be vulnerable and share his truth, it backfires because he rejects her before she can even process what he’s saying to her.
This misunderstanding turns into really harsh words being spoken and mean, nasty interactions. They hurt each other over the perceived rejection on both sides. It’s textbook Karmic relationship, and though incredibly painful on both sides, provided crucial lessons they both needed to learn. Carlton is on the path to self-acceptance, if he can learn to get out of his own way, and Diamond is on the path to self-worth, knowing what she will not accept in a relationship. It’s great that they were able to sort of clear the air and “make up” at the reunion, but they will never come together again, unless they want to repeat the same cycle.
Woo… so there you have it! My take on the different types of romantic relationships portrayed on Season 1 of Love is Blind. We now have a Season 2, so let me know in the comments if you want to see these relationships dissected as well!
When we are clear on what’s happening in relationships shown on screen, we can better interpret our own relationships and make informed decisions based on what’s happening in our own lives. Every relationship serves a purpose, so no relationship is a total waste of time, but it is crucial to recognize which relationships serve us longterm, and which should be lovingly let go.